Am hauf deef, ah really am
Whit! Missed that, o damn
Sometimes the kettle and then the watter
Blurs the sound o’ Scottish patter

Yon hearing aid, pit it in
Wearing wan is no a sin
Y’ill hear much mair o’ word an’ voice
Stey deef or hear that is your choice

Ah pit the thing inside ma lug
Ah heard the doorbell and the dug
Yin day a fichter jet roared past
It dingled ma eardrum way the blast

Tae hell wi that inside ma skull
Ad rather life wis quiet an’ dull
So in the drawer it now resides
Fur time being, that’s whar it bides